Grief and Business: They Go Together

From the MBT Blog – published by MBT More Business Today LLC

A few weeks ago, I participated in a panel discussion called “Behind the Mask: Stories of Courage, Growth and Strength.” My story over the last few years focused on continuing, moving myself and my business forward while dealing with grief. I continued to work on my business while making space to grieve. Wherever it shows itself in life, loss demands acknowledgement.

Twenty-five years ago, I walked away from my musical theater business because my husband had a stroke. I did not realize until 2023 how much grief I carried from that experience. How did I notice it so many years later? After my sister passed away in February 2023, I stopped and gave myself time to grieve. As my mind began to calm and quiet, I found there were many losses in my life begging to be acknowledged. “Let me out!” they yelled at me. They had probably been yelling for years, but their voices drowned in all the activity with which I filled my waking hours.

If I kept things moving, I could run from the pain, sadness, embarrassment and shame equated with loss. And, while I was working hard, playing hard, and pushing myself, I deprived myself of peace: of mind, of spirit, of thoughts.

Looking back through the lens of present-day, I understand more clearly the feelings I had back then. Crying because circumstance dictated I leave my business? How petty? How shallow when compared to the recovery my husband was going through. That is the source of the shame, in addition to feeling I had failed. I belittled my pain at that time yet carried it with me.

When we push our emotions down and ignore or minimize them, they find ways to break through the surface in bursts. I know I erupted from time to time. The point of this blog is simple: give yourself the space to feel the grief. In my last blog, Behind the Mask: How We Keep Afloat Through Tough Times, I give tips on how to make that space for grieving.

But how many of us take the time to acknowledge the grief and loss we feel at work?

What kinds of loss happens at work?
Every person feels things differently. From my observations at work, from my clients, and from my own experience, these situations cause grief.

1. Loss of business.
2. Loss of clients.
3. Loss of a colleague or colleagues (whether through death or a change in jobs).
4. Loss of funding.
5. Big changes such as re-organizations and mergers. People may need a moment to grieve over a time when they knew what to do and how to do it.

As individuals, we need to notice when our grief flares up. In my situation, I felt loaded down with rocks and the weight kept me from enjoying life. The heaviness disrupted my ability to be productive. And, worst of all, I had no control over when grief raised its head and upended my plans for the day, the week, the month.

How to Grieve A Business Loss?

1. Treat it like any other loss. If your parent died, would you expect yourself to return to work the same day? No. If your business fails, take a moment to feel your in feelings.
2. Your body knows. Listen to your body. If you feel fatigued, rather than pushing yourself forward, acknowledge the feeling. Ask your body what it needs. You might be surprised at the answers. You will be more productive when you go back to business.
3. Talk to people. Expressing your feelings about your loss takes the thoughts out of your head and shares the load with another person. It will lighten and enlighten you.
4. Listen to people. The more you listen to people, the more you will find commonalities and reassurances that you are not alone. You will also learn tricks and habits that helped them recover from their loss.

Tomorrow, we will repeat the “Behind the Mask” event as a webinar in conjunction with Chicago’s BACP (Business Affairs and Consumer Protection). I was moved by the experiences shared by the women on the panel and those individuals in attendance. When people share their wisdom, incorporate the those pearls into your way of life.