Stress, Anxiety, and Meditation

Wisdom is all around us: from the MBT Blog
Published by Mary Balistreri, MBT More Business Today LLC

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I often reflect on the reasons I waited so long to acknowledge it and treat it. It was one of those areas in my life that signaled weakness. If I gave in and talked about it, I was letting them – the nebulous them, the globs of people known and unknown who might judge me – see me sweat. And in my world, letting my fragility show brought on more anxiety.

In our last blog, both David and his father, Tony, were experiencing panic attacks. Just like me, they spent most of their lives hiding the crippling manifestation of their reactions to stress. To read more about their circumstances, check out last week’s blog, Success! Sunshine and Clouds. Today’s MBT blog could be called My Buried Truth or Making Blemishes Transparent.

Today we join Norah as she meets her friend and mentor, Sherri, for coffee. Norah sips her usual latte while listening to the jazz music playing. This is her happy place. A black-owned café run by a locally famous jazz drummer and his wife, owner of a successful beauty business for more than 30 years.

Norah spies Sherri looking beautiful in an orange African print pantsuit. Her golden skin gleams against the fabric. She is wearing her signature, a large medallion necklace of gold, silver and purple.

“How are you, baby?” Sherri says kissing Norah on the cheek and squeezing her hand. “Thank you for this,” she says, holding up the mocha Norah ordered for her. “How’s your dad?”

“He didn’t have a stroke! It turns out, he has been having panic attacks for years. He just never told us. Now he and David are taking a meditation class together!” Norah says this with so much energy, Sherri feels the force of it across the table. Norah’s personality is quiet and she seldom raises her voice. “Today is momentous, indeed,” Sherri thinks.

“Now, hold on. You must back up and tell me more. Tony is meditating?” she laughs a deep, throaty laugh ending with a harumph. “This I have GOT to see!”

“Okay, I’ll tell you more of the story. I am just so excited to see the men in my life opening up. You know how men can close themselves off sometimes. I was sitting in a restaurant with David and I could see he was starting to have a panic attack. I just finished talking him through it and was driving home when I get a call from Dad’s friend, Sam, telling me to meet him at the hospital and bring David. He thought Dad was having a heart attack.

So, I rush there and meet Sam because Dad is having tests and is not in his room at the ER. Then Sam tells me Dad suffered from panic attacks his entire life! Can you believe that? Sam knew this thing about Dad and we did not have a clue. I asked Sam why Dad never got treatment for it, and he said it was because he was embarrassed about it.” Norah says all of this in a big expulsion of breath and then sits back shaking her head.

“Well, now I knew he was an absolute mess after your mother died, but now that you tell me this, it makes sense. He seemed to keep everything bottled up inside. That is how he handled things when people commented on your mom and him being an inter-racial couple. He would not talk about it. We thought he was cold or stubborn. Sounds like he was suffering silently,” now Sherri is shaking her head. The two sit together in silence for a few minutes.

“That is a lot to think about right there,” Sherri says wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye. Norah fills up with love for Sherri. The woman can be rough sometimes but underneath she is all heart.

“I feel for him,” Norah says. And now David is dealing with the same thing. We were sitting by Dad’s hospital bed when the doctor came in to give the test results. After telling us everything was fine and normal, he asked Dad if he suffered from anxiety. Dad just nodded. Then the whole secret was out. I spoke up and told the doctor that David also had a panic attack the night before. Now Dad is on a medication for anxiety and going to a meditation class. He invited David to join him and David said yes! It is all so incredible.

Here is the best part though. As we were leaving, Dad put his arm around David and said, ‘Son, let’s tackle this together. I do not want to see you suffer the way I have all these years.’ It was beautiful!” Norah sighs as she finishes and pauses to remember the moment. When she closes her eyes, she can see the two of them, the men she loves the most in her life, her family, walking arm in arm out of the hospital. A favorite moment she cherishes.

“Norah, that is an amazing experience.” Sherri stands up and moves to the other side of the table to sit next to Norah. She pulls her close in a side embrace. “Sounds like they are on their way to better times.”

Sherri is curious. “How does meditation help? I understand how controlling your breathing can help, but what else happens?”

“Meditation helps people clear their minds. I have only done it once or twice, but in Dad’s class, they play restful music and the leader talks through relaxing the body and clearing the mind. It definitely leaves me feeling calmer and clearer,” Norah says.

Then Sherri pauses, takes a breath, and says quietly, shyly, “Do you think I could call Tony and ask to join his class? I think I could benefit from a little meditation, too.”

Norah is surprised by this. “Yes, of course. I am joining them next week. Would you like me to pick you up?” They spend the rest of their coffee date planning.

Have you ever meditated? What do you do to relieve stress? Tune in next time to learn more about Tony’s meditation class.