Will He Start His Own Law Firm? David Seeks Advice.

Wisdom is all around us: from the MBT Blog
Published by Mary Balistreri, MBT More Business Today LLC

What does it take to make a change? How do you know when to take a big risk and when to stick with status quo? The truth lies inside of each individual. Before making that leap, explore inwardly and outwardly. Ask yourself the important questions and look to friends and research for advice and information.

Since our last blog, David continued thinking about the advice he received from Sherri. “Who you work with is as important as what your work is.” To read that post, follow the link to Who You Work with Is as Important as What Your Work Is. “Sherri is so wise,” he thought. “Who do I want to work with? I know, I should start my own firm and select my own people. That way, I can make sure everyone gets the same opportunities. We won’t be cut throat about who gets credit for the work. We’ll share the clients!”

In his excitement, David first talks to the head of his practice group at work, Edgar. Taking his mentor’s advice, David decides to seek the wisdom of his friends and family. He sends out invites for a cocktail hour at his house.

As soon as Sherri receives the invitation from David, she calls his half-sister, Norah. “Did you see this? I got an email from David with an invitation to advise him on his next move. What is this about?”

“You received one, too? I have not talked with him for a bit, but he said you inspired him to look for a new job or start his own firm.” Norah replies.

“I inspired him, huh? Well, he was not happy at work and we talked about his community there. That must be what he meant. Okay, I’m happy to be there. Want to ride together?” Sherri asks and they make plans to attend.

Upon their arrival, Sherri expresses surprise regarding David’s apartment. “I thought this would be swanky and posh with a doorman and all that. How long has he lived here?” she asks.

“He’s been here a few years. He’s paid well, but he wants to pay off his college loans as fast as possible. But this suits him, just a regular apartment for David. No frills. He’s not an indulgent sort of guy.”

“Now that you say it, that’s true. He is more interested in talking than in anything else!” Both women laugh as Sherri says this. David often admits one of his flaws is forgetting to breathe while he is talking and not making space for others to join the conversation.

Once inside, Sherri notices an adequately furnished apartment – tan chairs and a couch in the living room accented with glass side tables and lamps made of silver metal with dark brown shades. A few prints hang on the walls giving a pop of color. They are clearly the kind you find at a large discount store, abstract featuring dark reds, yellows, and browns. The biggest surprise to Sherri is the abundance of photos hung on the walls and placed on most of the surfaces. Pictures of David with his dad, and his sister, and David with his friends – so many friends – seem to be everywhere you look.

Once everyone is seated in the living room with a drink and a plate of cheese, crackers, hummus, pita, and olives, David takes the floor. “Thank all of you for being here tonight. Your support means so much to me. Have you all met?” Seeing a shaking of heads, he directs everyone to say who they are, how they know David, and why they are here.

The guests include:

• Tony, David and Norah’s dad. He is in his 60s and has the same tousled hair as David, except his is a combination of silver and gray.
• Norah, David’s half-sister. The bright copper pantsuit she wears compliments her cinnamon skin perfectly. She is often soft-spoken, but is learning to speak up and stand up for herself.
• Sarah, David’s mother. Impeccably dressed in a black pantsuit accented by a jewel-tone blue, silk blouse that perfectly matches her eyes. Sarah is tall, blond, and uncomfortable. She is seldom in the room with her ex-husband, Tony. She vows to stay focused and do her best to help her son.
• Edgar, David’s boss and mentor at work. Edgar is a tall, charismatic man with dark, chocolate colored skin, a full black beard, and wisps of silvery gray dotting his sideburns. He had immediately introduced himself personally to everyone in the room before sitting down. He is excited to see how this gathering plays out.
• Paul, David’s best friend, is an IT developer. Tall and good looking, he wears a scruffy beard, blue jeans and polo shirts everywhere he goes. He is proud of his friend today. Paul had given David the advice awhile ago that he should speak up if he feels something at work goes against his values. You can read more about that conversation in, To Speak Up or Not To Speak Up: David’s Story.
• Sherri, a friend of the family and mentor to Norah. Sherri, a short and slightly round woman with golden brown skin, is filled with anticipation at being here. She marvels how her words to this young man in a conversation several weeks ago resulted in a gathering like this. Norah, David’s half-sister.
• And, Pete, another of David’s close friends. Pete is a short guy of average build with dark hair who resembles lots of short guys of average build with dark hair. That is fine with him. He prefers to keep quiet unless he is with good friend who he trusts. An associate at a competing law firm, Pete has been successful in developing business because his great observation skills help him he pick up non-verbal cues from others in any room. He notices immediately that Sherri and Sarah are a bit uncomfortable.

David continues speaking, “I Invited you all here because you know me best. I am thinking about going out on my own to start a new firm. I am looking for advice from all of you. There is no need to worry about the logistics, I am working with Edgar on that. What I am looking for is your feedback on my leadership capabilities. Can I do this? Do you think I have what it takes? What do I need to do to improve myself?” Everyone notices how excited David is. Energy generates from him to such an extent, the air feels electric. His sandy hair is tousled more than usual. He speaks even more quickly than his everyday breathless communication.

“Now, son, I don’t want to seem harsh, but are you crazy?” Tony asks and waves his hand to calm down the group who are ready to attack his position. “Look how young he is! Establish yourself first. Then when you have some experience under your belt and money in the bank, start your business. C’mon, help me out here!” Seeing most of the room, including his ex-wife shaking their heads no at him, he gestures to Edgar, the only man in the room close to his age. “C’mon Edgar. You see what I’m saying, right?”

Edgar nods, “I do see your point, Tony. However, I see a great deal of initiative on David’s part. I have also seen growth and a willingness to improve. I am interested in his perspective and those of the others in the room. For now, I am withholding any judgement.”

Paul speaks up, “Well, I don’t know where this will go, but I’m all for David making a change. No offense to you or your firm, Edgar, but I know he experienced some conditions he felt were unfair to women and minorities there.” Paul nods to Edgar to show his respect before turning to his friend, “David. I know you are a good-hearted, decent guy. Will you be a good leader? Yes, with help and more experience. What better way to get the experience than out on your own? Since Edgar has been mentoring you, I have seen positive changes in your awareness of other people. And, since Norah opened the doors to real conversations in your family, I’ve watched you embrace meditation! You can do whatever you want to do and I will be here to support you.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room and Paul wonders whether something he said has created some kind of tension.

David notices Sarah’s face turn pale and speaks up, “Thank you for the endorsement, Paul. I don’t think everyone here knew about the family conversations. Mom?” Sarah looks at him with worried eyes. “No? Sorry, mom. I will tell you about it later. What do you think about me becoming the leader of my own firm?”

Sarah smooths the material of her pants and clears her throat before speaking. “You have always been a natural leader, David. When you were a boy, all the other boys looked to you to decide what game to play at recess, what movie to see, and, later, what girl to ask to Homecoming. I am with Pete. I know you can do this.”

David smiles with relief, at least one parent is in his corner. Sarah continues, “From a business standpoint, you need to write down a list of pros and cons to this. What will you do without a paycheck? How will you pay your bills? Where will you get the work? Do you have a business plan?”

“You are right on target with all of that mom. I wanted to get first impressions first. Then, after some reflection, I will decide on the next step.” He stoops down to kiss her cheek and whispers, “I will take you out to lunch and fill you in on what’s been happening with Tony.” He then turns to Sherri.

“Sherri. You have been silent this whole time. I really value your opinion. What do you have to say?” David now stands directly in front of Sherri, who has barely taken a sip of her tonic water and lime. He noticed her brow wrinkling during the conversation. Sherri is known for speaking her mind, so he wonders what is holding her back tonight.

“Well,” Sherri pauses for several beats and then looks David in the eye. “I hear you talking about your personal skills, and I keep thinking, what is it you are trying to achieve? Now I know you and I talked about finding your community at work, but have you decided who is in that community? What is the culture you are trying to create?”

Tony nods and claps his hands briefly. “Yes. What are you trying to achieve? Why not just change to a different firm. Like Pete’s, maybe. What’s it like at your firm, Pete?”

Pete had been sitting with his head lowered desperately hoping to melt into the couch and go unnoticed. Now he has to respond. “Well,” he clears his throat and then speaks abruptly. “My firm is the same as David’s. Good luck finding something different. That being said, I agree with you, Tony. I can’t imagine taking such a huge risk so early in my career. Of course, David can and should do what he wants to do.”

A brief discussion ensues during which Tony, Pete and Paul are having one conversation, Sherri and Sarah are having another, and Edgar is observing them all. David looks over to Norah and motions toward the kitchen with his head. Once they are alone together there, David pours Norah a new glass of wine and asks, “What do you think, Norah?”

“I think I can’t believe you have all those people talking about you in the other room!” She laughs, “Really David, is this a cry for attention?”

“Okay, I deserve that. C’mon. What do you think?” he asks this urgently, like a little boy who just discovered a new video game and must buy it right now.

“I think you have more thinking to do. Take some time to consider all the questions your mom and Sherri raised. This would be a big move. You need to make sure you are ready,” she says this softly and gently.

“I know! But I want it to happen right now!” David says. They both laugh and return to the living room to join the conversations. Edgar is putting his coat on to leave. He gives David a brief handshake and says, “Let’s talk about this more next week when I’m back in the office. I have an early flight tomorrow.”

As each person files out, David’s mom reminds him to schedule their lunch, Tony shrugs and reminds him not to be late for meditation next week, and Paul claps him on the back. Finding himself alone in his apartment, he is happy with the evening. He managed his emotions pretty well until he was alone with Norah, he reflects. He did not have a panic attack. He smiles thinking about this and sits down with his journal to write out his immediate thoughts. He will go over them again over the weekend and decide on his next steps.

Tune in next time to learn more about David’s decision. What would you do?