From the MBT Blog – published by MBT More Business Today LLC
When my photographer revealed the images of me after our photo session, I was awestruck. I have always been camera shy even though my mother used to say I was photogenic. So, I hesitated more than a little when investing in a professional photo. This photo session was magic. I though, “this is how I want to look. This is the image I want to project. And, this is really me.”
An exercise I use during coaching sessions asks the client to list words. The words should indicate how they believe others would describe them as leaders. Then, they list the aspirational words, the words they would love people to use when talking about their leadership. The exercise is about perception and self-image.
Sometimes, the first list of descriptors comes through reviews and feedback from supervisors, managers and colleagues. Participation in a 360 review process generally gives a leader specific input and is a good source in development of the list. However they emerge, observations from others bring surprises – some very helpful and appreciated, some causing doubt.
Looking at the gap, the difference between what others believe and what you want to project, creates a great opportunity for growth.
Mary Balistreri, The Mindful business coach
For myself, I know I want to project a confident engaging, knowledgeable business woman. And, the feedback I receive surprises me. I hear, “Fun. Your web site does not show how much fun you are.” Or, one that does not exactly produce excitement in me, “The rock. You are so dependable.” My reaction to dependable is “boring.” But, that feedback ultimately made me happy that clients and colleagues depend on me. It also made me realize I want to be exciting. Hence the red in this image, my favorite picture of me.
This picture makes me laugh when I see it. I remember my negativity about getting a good photo. I remember my nervousness which the photographer remedied by playing great dance music. I love to dance and it set me at ease. It makes me smile remembering the compliments I still receive about this photo even though it has been out there in social media land for three years. It makes me happy.
My aspirational list contains many more words than those mentioned above. Yet, when I am having one of those days, you know the kind, when a potential client says “yes” to everything except signing the contract. The days when your e-mail is full only of other people trying to sell you things. The quiet days when the phone does not ring. Those are the times I need to dig into my own self-talk.
Mindset affects the way you feel. The first step to taking control of your life, career, image – you name it – is to control your own thoughts and attitudes. For me when I am in a negative place, sometimes I tell myself, “Look for the things that are going right.” Another mantra for me is, “Everything you need is around you. Just focus and you will see it.” Or, I look at this picture. This photo continually snaps me out of negative reverie into the beauty of the day.
How about you? Is there an image of you that you believe shows the best you? Can you visualize what that image might be? And, which words are on your lists? Take a moment, and pen and paper, to think about it. And if you want help, send me an email or make an appointment. It will brighten my mood on one of “those” days and begin your investment in controlling your own image.
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