Self and Social Awareness: Vital Pieces of the Business Puzzle

©The MBT Blog published by MBT Mindful Business Today

During a recent meeting, the declared leader of the group made a nonchalant comment about a team member. It had to do with appearance involving that person’s style of dress. It started with the phrase, “Of course” meaning as usual this person tends to look a certain way. In this instance, the tone used made the comment seem like a dig at the individual. I gathered this from the reaction of the others on the video call as well – silence as they turned away from the camera. Absolute, uncomfortable silence.

I see and hear about this behavior daily when working with clients. Is the leader a meany? Probably not. Is the leader insensitive? Maybe. Most likely, the individual is either not self-aware or not socially aware or a little bit of both.

Examine yourself, your thoughts, and your behaviors before pointing fingers at others. After all, the only thing you can control in this world is yourself.

MARY BALISTRERI, The Mindful Business Coach

All self-improvement begins with self-awareness. How aware is the individual of their emotions? How aware is the person who is trying to improve of the kinds of things which trigger their behaviors? During a consultation, I ask clients, “What needs to happen for you to obtain your goals?” If their answer is, “Everyone else needs to change their behavior and give me what I need to achieve,” I know they are not ready for coaching. The time may come when they decide to work on themselves. It just is not right now.

Likewise, some leaders are very self-aware. They understand their triggers, “I totally go off when people do not communicate their progress on a project,” is one example I have heard. They know how to watch out for themselves. However, they are not able to “read the room.” They do not notice others withdrawing when they make certain statements. They wonder why the team will not share their ideas with the group during a meeting. They are not socially aware. During a consultation, they might say, “My team is not motivated. They sit in silence when I ask for their thoughts.”

Examine yourself, your thoughts, and your behaviors first before pointing fingers at others. After all, the only thing you can control in this world is yourself.

How can you fix something if you are unaware there is a problem? All of us have blind spots. In my case, I study conversational intelligence because I know I need to work on myself. I know I have blind spots. And I know somewhere down the line; I will say the wrong thing.

How can I fix something when I am unaware that I created a problem? Two answers come to mind:

1. I must reflect on my own behavior consistently. For me, that means writing in my journal at least once a week. To learn how to develop a journaling habit, check out our classes. There is one forming in June.
2. I must rely on those around me to give candid and kind feedback. I must ask for feedback. Yes, and, I must offer candid and kind feedback to others.

How about you? Do you spend time on self-improvement? Tell us what works for you.