A Few Don’ts (Please, Please Don’t) of Business Development

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Most of the clients I coach in developing business hate the idea of it, because they do not want to be sales-y. “You don’t expect me to cold call, do you? Because I will not do that,” they say. I also hate cold calling. I hate being cold called or cold emailed or cold texted or whatever else sales people are doing coldly. I am in favor of the warm lead and the warm reach out.

Lately, I have been so annoyed by the kinds of sales emailed at me, I decided I have to write a blog about it. These tactics are, I believe, universally annoying. Whether you are a person who holds a position within a company to make purchasing decisions or someone, like me, who owns your own business, being approached in these ways is likely to not make a sale. In fact, it is likely to generate annoyance and distrust from your potential customer. Worst of all, it is likely to leave a huge negative impact on the brand itself.

Please, please:

  • Don’t Act Like You Know Me When We Have Not Met.
    This type of cold emailing goes something like this, “Hi Mary, Just checking in regarding your website. I know you are interested in reaching as many potential clients as possible.” I admit the “just checking in” makes me pause in case the person is actually someone I met while networking or with whom I am LinkedIn. When I realize I never met them, it becomes annoying. You don’t “know” anything about me, so leave me alone!
  • Don’t Act Like I Owe You Something When We Have Never Spoken.
    Here is a direct quote, “I’ve reached out to you thrice before without receiving a response, but I’m not going to give up easily.” Seriously? I do not owe you a response simply because you bought a list that has my email on it. For many of these sales methods, it is clear they are using an old list. They are spamming my personal email rather than my business email. Ouch!
  • Don’t Tell Me I’m Stupid.
    I want to lash out with a response to these emails, because they are the absolute opposite of what you should do when establishing a relationship with a potential client. But, I hold myself back. Someone please explain to me why a sales person believes degrading and humiliating a potential client and their business will lead to success? What am I talking about? The emails that start with, “I looked at your website and see you are trying to establish your brand. Unfortunately, It is clear your tactics just aren’t doing the trick. Here’s how I can fix it for you.”

    Another one in this genre talks down to the potential customer, me in this case, as if we are too inexperienced and unsophisticated to understand the world of technology. “In the digital frontier, (people like you) often find themselves wrestling with a rowdy gang of technological roadblocks.” As I continued to read this email, I was impressed with the prose but the resulting message to me came across as, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about technology. Us brave smarties will save you and your company with our intense skills.” Yuck!
  • Don’t Assume I Am Going To Miss Out on Something by Not Replying To You.
    This scheme is age-old. “I can save you 83%…” or “You really need to respond now to take advantage of this deal!” No, I don’t. Save me 83% of what? Because, I never planned to spend money the way you want me to spend it on your product. Enough said.
  • Don’t Clog Up My Email Box.
    As a coach, I receive multiple emails every day from businesses asking me, “Can you take on 100 new clients?” or “Do you need 50 new qualified leads per month?” This strategy makes me laugh the most, because they plan to set me up with leads so I can do the same thing to someone else they are doing to me. Spamming. Shaming. Annoying. Misrepresenting. Just no, no, no!

When working to drum up new business, remember:

  • Think beyond this moment. You can make a fast sale, or work harder to develop a trusting relationship.
  • Misrepresenting yourself at the outset of a relationship smashes trust to bits. If you start that way, it’s over before you begin.
  • A happy customer is a repeat customer, and likely to become a referral source.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

Strategy + Action = Success? What’s Missing from Your Recipe?

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Clients often ask, “What are the steps to bring in new business?” Or, “Tell me what I need to say to get my team to trust me so they will be more productive.” Or, “What do I need to do to make my new business a success?” There are many recipes for success, and some of the elements are essential. The biggest factor is starting with your purpose. Not just what you are trying to achieve; why is it important for you to achieve it?

Most business people have seen Simon Sinek’s TEDx Talk about knowing your why. It is actually called, “How Great Leaders Inspire Action.” The concept can be applied to multiple situations within and outside of business. Your employees and clients need to understand and see your “why” in order to work with you, and, I discovered, so do your children, friends, and spouse. You need to understand your purpose prior to trying to articulate it to others. In fact, you probably are communicating your purpose through your actions. Others may already know what it is.

So, let’s start with you first, as we often do in the client wisdom blog. Clients continually teach me the importance of authenticity in every aspect of life and business. Work to understand yourself. It is work, and it brings peace and clarity the more you do it. Take the time to listen to your thoughts. Who do you want to be each day in the world? What are your values? What is your purpose in starting a new business?

I have a great, wise friend who states clearly on her web site her passion for supporting leaders to have fearless conversations. She knows her purpose and clearly articulates it. Supporting leadership in conversation is the reason she opened the doors to her business.

As I delved into my own purpose, I started by writing down my own values. For me, I am motivated by supporting others to reach their goals. Each self-assessment I took over the years pointed in the same direction: people-person, coach, entrepreneur, intuition, idea-person. Every single assessment funnels the results in the same and related ways.

My purpose in starting my business is to make a living supporting individuals and organizations to succeed through mindfully building belonging into their businesses.

Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach

How about you? As the title of this article states, strategy plus action may be the recipe for success if the journey and the results of the journey satisfy your purpose.

Equally important before you develop your strategy is to define success for you and your business or leadership role. Success can be different things to different people. Think about what success looks like to you and then compare that image to your purpose. Do they match up?

Know yourself, define success for you, and then develop your strategy. Your values help you understand what you want to achieve and your strategy dictates the tactics you will use to succeed. For instance, if your values tell you that your family is the most important part of your life, then a tactic that keeps you away from them most of the year would not be the right one for you. You may achieve the goal, but will you be happy?

The recipe for success? How about Purpose + Vision for Success + Strategy + Action = Your Success?

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

How Big Is the Box You’re In? Are Your Lines Drawn with Permanent Marker?

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

I sometimes challenge myself and my clients to spend time listening without passing judgement on what other people are saying. It is impossible to really do it, but when I try to do it, I realize how many judgements I make every minute. Before someone finishes a thought, I think I know what their point will be based on the first thing they said. When I pay attention to the conversation rather than trying to jump forward in my head, I often learn that my assumption was incorrect.

Listening and trying to focus your mind to be present in a conversation is critical to understanding. I am probably stating the obvious.

As I continued to listen during the month of August, the image of people drawing lines in the sand came to mind. They draw the line in the sand to block out specific information or people. “I am done with this person or situation. No one had better cross this line,” they are saying in my imaginings. In the case of the sand, though, the tide comes in and washes the line away. There is hope for a change of heart.

The next vision that popped into my head was a box with someone inside it. Each time the person drew a line, their box shrank. As the box became smaller and smaller, the person disappeared so completely that they literally drew themselves into non-existence. Other people lost sight of them, because they were buried in their boxes.

This vision brought me to tears, and yet, I know many of us are happily containing ourselves in ever-shrinking boxes. If they lines we drew were in the sand, they could wash away over time. If we used pencil instead of permanent marker, we could easily erase the lines as we learned more and as we became more understanding. If our cubes were made only of cardboard, we could break out. I fear that, for many, the box is made of solid steel.

It made me wonder what substance could penetrate the boxes. How do those of us on the outside reach those on the inside? Then it occurred to me: we think we are gaining control over people and ideas by blocking them out of our lives. Actually, the opposite is true.

We lose our power by drawing lines and shrinking into our boxes.

Mary balistreri, the mindful business coach

By refusing to participate in the world, we give up the power to voice our own thoughts and ideas. We lose the possibility of finding a person who may support us. We block out the possibility that an idea or piece of information might help us reach our goals. Some boxes group together believing there is safety in numbers. As long as everyone agrees to everything, life will be perfect, right? In this case, I feel confident saying never, it is never the case. We create an echo chamber that is void of innovation, thought, and collaboration. Everyone loses.

Sometimes it is important to block a person from your life. Not every relationship is good for you. Sometimes it is important to leave a toxic environment. Not every place is the place you need to be.

Ultimately, be mindful of generalizations that build your box. Your difficulty may be with one person, not all the people similar to that person. You may disagree with one idea, but not with all the ideas that are different from your own. Growth demands innovation. Innovation demands variety in thought. Think about it and spend some time listening.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

You Achieved Your Goal. Now What?

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Clients often tell me they feel empty after achieving a goal. They are deflated and defeated somehow. They do not feel like celebrating. “It’s as if I put in so much effort, and now I’m completely flat,” they say. Their plate which was completely full of action items to move them closer to their goal is suddenly empty.

You probably heard the thought “the satisfaction comes from the journey itself and not the achievement.” Maybe. I believe the value comes from exploring a client’s reaction to the achievement.

After a big win, some clients decide to move on as if nothing special occurred. Some report feelings of exhaustion and lack of excitement about the very thing they worked so hard to achieve. A few have a reward planned for themselves and indulge in that.

As their coach, I ask clients to explore all these responses.

How to handle success is as important as how to handle defeat.

Mary balistreri, the mindful business coach

In the early stages of coaching, I work with clients to discover the obstacles that hold them back. Clients diligently dig into their self-awareness sometimes taking assessments to help them evaluate their strengths and weaknesses. Once they are more aware of how they react in situations, we create solutions and strategies to deal with and manage their reactions.

Then we design a plan of action so that each day, clients have a task or a focus to keep them on track. During this entire cycle of improvement, there is a road map of sorts which illustrates our next steps. Clients know what to do and can see their progress plotted as they move forward. We discuss the progress made and data collected at each session. It is a time of movement – forward and backward – and of experiencing the ripples of productivity.

Suddenly, the objective is met and everything seems to stop.

Success is not an ending. It is a beginning. There is as much to learn from a success as there is from a failure. Achievement presents new opportunities to explore. There is more to discover about yourself now from how you respond to success.

Here is a brief to-do list for success:

  • First, stop and celebrate. You deserve to feel the satisfaction of winning and to reward yourself in whatever way makes you feel great.
  • Next, take a moment to just breathe and exist. Not every day needs to be filled with challenges. It’s ok to take a nap or hang out with friends without talking about work.
  • Now, take out the old journal. Over the next few days or few weeks, make a few notes. Ask yourself:
    • How did I respond when I achieved this goal? Did I minimize it? Did I deflect the credit and attention? Did I relish it? Did I brag about it, and if so, did I do it tastefully or did I drag others down in my pride?
    • What can I learn from this success?
      • What did I do well?
      • What would I do differently if I could do it over?
      • How will this impact my approach to problems and goals in the future?
  • Finally, consider asking a friend or colleague who understands the circumstances around the goal for their input and advice.

It is your decision how to move forward. Some clients prefer to keep moving by capitalizing on their lessons learned as soon as they can. Others take a break and enjoy life. It is all in your control.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

The Coach Is Part of Your Team

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Every month, I meet with two incredible coach friends. One is from Manchester, England, and the other is from China. The three of us met almost five years ago while earning our Conversational Intelligence (CIQ) coaching certifications and were part of the same cohort. We love to get together to talk about CIQ, our coaching businesses, and our newest learnings.

Today we talked about Gestalt and theories about boundaries from his teachings. One of our threesome has been studying Gestalt for nearly three years. The information she shared aligned perfectly with the extremes I see in my coaching practice lately. A trend I noticed is my clients seem to demonstrate the two extremes of boundaries: either having no boundaries – afraid to speak up for themselves, putting everyone else before themselves, not knowing when to say “no” – or insulating themselves from the thoughts, opinions, and insights of other people.

I find it interesting that my clients are trending at the two extreme ends. So did my colleagues this morning who enlightened me as they always do. The input expanded my mind to continue to dig for more information about Gestalt and boundaries to better help my clients.

The conversation led me to think about the value coaching brings to clients. I believe it illustrates why coaching is so enormously popular. I concluded this:

The individualized shorthand a coach creates for a client adds immediate value by bringing exactly the right tool or concept to the coaching session and helping the client use it to improve their situation.

MaryQuote

Coaching works when the coach is part of your team. Imagine finding time in your role as an executive in a business or organization to study all the new ideas in leadership. There is no time for that. It seems a new leadership book is published every day. As a leader, you need your team to bring you their expertise and knowledge to you so you make informed decisions. The coach is part of your team supplying valuable information for you to use daily.

The scenario changes from client to client, yet in each situation, I tailor my approach to the client. The adjustments include which pieces of information fit the individual personality, goals, needs, position, and business of the client.

I create a shorthand so you preserve your time to focus on your job, company or organization, and team.

This is especially true when the coach works with an organization over a period of time getting to know the goals, leaders, team dynamics, and culture. A coach studies the latest ideas, assessments, and tools and applies that information directly to the situation.

A coaching concept for this is dancing in the moment. When I pull the information from my knowledge grabbing exactly the right piece of the puzzle and offering it to my client, and then, my client responds with affirmation (and sometimes extreme excitement), I am dancing. It is the greatest feeling for me and also for my clients.

As a result, the clients may see things through a new lens, or find the key to a struggle in that moment. Then, they realize the magic of coaching.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

Strengths and Your Team

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Several years ago, my family embarked into the unknown world of Alzheimers. In addition to navigating the condition of our mother, several family members were very ill and there were multiple deaths that year. My sisters and I all pitched in to execute on tasks that were vital, provide emotional support, and figure out the legal issues involved. We worked together to make sure we accomplished things well from every aspect of the situation.

Afterward, we remarked that each of us lent our talents and skills to create the best outcome. The difference this time, as opposed to earlier in our lives, was that rather than expecting each other to perform in ways that were not natural for the individual person, we opened our minds to recognize the strengths of each of us. It was a lightbulb moment and one of exponential growth for us.

Expect what each can give and celebrate the contribution rather than expecting unrealistic acts and feeling angry or dissatisfied with each other.

The Balistreri Sisters

The same holds true for work situations. Through the years as a coach, many clients talk to me about their company’s lack of follow through when it comes to strengths. For instance, a business or non-profit organization will invest the time and money into working with teams to assess what “type” each person might be. Whether it is the Meyers Briggs or the Disc or something else, each person receives the report about their type.

The report generally precedes a discussion with the whole team. Often, the consultant involved will chart the team member’s individual types to identify where the group is strong in skillset and where there may be gaps. Everyone discusses how to adapt for the gaps and better understand the approaches of other team members to make the team more productive and the work more enjoyable and efficient.

Then, no one talks about it ever again. It’s true. I personally have been a member of teams where this has happened.

Why is this important? It is vital to use the investment in identifying strengths and gaps for so many reasons:

  1. Trust develops. A discussion of skillset and the application of strengths opens up individuals on the team. They feel heard and valued. When no more is made of the initial discussion, people feel cheated or fooled or disrespected.
  2. Authenticity is promoted. When trust develops and employees understand their value to the team, they become more comfortable being themselves at work.
  3. Belonging happens. Workers who are committed to their company or organization believe they belong in the environment. Happy people tend to be more productive.
  4. Your team performs in a crisis. When the team understands everyone’s strengths, and the leader of the team directs the work in ways that match with those strengths, the team performs best in crisis situations.

In the case of me and my sisters, the next time we experienced a crisis, we each jumped into our roles. We acknowledged who should do what based on those strengths. The management of the work at hand was much easier and more productive. The same can happen in your organization when you acknowledge strengths and then provide your team members with opportunities to use their individual skills to create the best results.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

It’s Always Something

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

The spirit of Rosanne Rosanna Danna has been flooding my mind lately when I meet with clients. I see her bobbing head with her huge dark hair as she recounts her famous tagline, “It’s like my grandmother used to say to me when I was just a little girl: “My little Rosanne Rosanna Danna, it’s always something. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

My clients are committed to the coaching, and, something really truly does intrude upon their work lives and their home lives to pull them off track. The kinds of phrases I hear from them that bring Rosanna to mind are:

  • “If I could just finish hiring these five people, then I will be able to relax.”
  • “Once this project is complete, I will have time to work on my action items.”

Those sentiments are often followed by these:

  • “Once I train these five people, I will be able to relax.”
  • “Now that my project is complete, I needed to focus on the rest of my work, so my action items need to wait.”

I see these statements as absolutely legitimate. My clients feel the effects of the changes and demands in life constantly. The key is to recognize the truth that there will always be something happening to offset your plans. The answer to this phenomenon?

Prioritize the commitments you make to yourself.

Make time to hire the employees and train them well. AND earmark time in your day to complete the activities that lead you achieve your goals. Focus part of your energy on your projects and your day-to-day tasks. AND take time to focus on your own goals.

You can do all the things smartly. Make yourself one of the things included in “all the things.”

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

Don’t Wait! Write It Down!

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

The greatest success I witness in clients comes when they leap over the hurdle of journaling. You may have noticed many of my blog posts include the advice, “Write it down.” Why is that? Why is it so important?

When clients approach my business, they look for ways to improve their business development or leadership skills and strategies. In both cases, they discover an adjustment of mindset creates the difference that helps them move forward and achieve their goals.

In my last blog, I noticed how my clients show their brilliance through the reflection portion of coaching and the incredibly diverse thoughts they bring to the conversation. Using a journal and getting into the habit of writing thoughts down is an indispensable tool in making self-reflection a habit.

Several of my clients show little interest in journaling at the start. “Isn’t that just another thing for me to add to my already overwhelming list?” they ask me. As we continue to talk about it, I hear things like, “It seems so fluffy and touchy-feely,” or “I can’t explain why, I just don’t want to do it.”

What tends to happen is once they make themselves try it, they find value in it. Writing down their thoughts opens the clients’ minds to the possibilities for them. It paints a picture, in their own words, of the reasons behind the difficulties they have executing on specific tasks. It reveals patterns that help them notice their own behaviors or their reactions to the behaviors of others.

Ultimately, the journal becomes the greatest method of understanding themselves.

“How do I capitalize on this great tool?” you may be asking yourself. Here are some questions you can start with:

  • At the end of the day, ask yourself: What did I do well today? What could I improve?
  • Who am I outside of the labels (not including parent, spouse, sibling, friend, your profession or job title, etc.)?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What do I like most about my job?
  • What are my greatest strengths? How can I use those strengths to achieve my goals?

In addition to the self-understanding gained from journaling, there is power in writing things down. It’s like buying a red car. Once you do it, you notice red cars are everywhere. The more you write things down, the more likely you are to focus on achieving your goals. Give it a try!

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

Breaking & Making Your Rhythm

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Has this ever happened to you? You eat one or two Doritos at a party, and within one week you are eating them daily? And while you are eating your bowl of Doritos waiting for your dinner to cook, you think, “I wish it was this easy to make myself exercise three times every week,” Sigh. Crunch.

I admit that Doritos are my gateway food. The fear of Doritos for me is real. Once I start eating Doritos, I fear, the door is open for Tombstone pizza and then ice cream of every kind. Many of us exhibit addictive behaviors when eating processed foods. That is actually true. So, how can I win the battle with Doritos and what does this have to do with business and leadership?

Mindset. Habits. Creating your own rhythms.

A number of my clients were at the halfway point in their sessions recently. The trend I see is how the work they do to shift their mindset after the first few sessions creates a rhythm that leads them toward developing new habits. The shift in mindset comes from reframing the way they view certain tasks. Rather than thinking about their development as something “extra” they have to do, they characterize the changes as part of their everyday life.

The key is mindset. How do you think about exercise? If you begin to see it as an everyday activity – I brush my teeth, then I lift weights, then I take a shower – the activity settles into your routine. It may create a syncopation before it incorporates itself into the orchestra that is your life. Patience. You are making new music, and it is all your own.

How does this work in the opposite direction? How do I undo the damage of daily Doritos? I reframe it in my mind. “Doritos are a sometime food,” just like the mantra the mom on Bob’s Burgers uses to break her pie habit. Not a forbidden food. Not a daily food. A sometime food. I need to repeat this mantra to myself over and over in my mind. My morning and evening routine do not include snacks, but they do include lifting weights and walking the dogs.

What habits do you need to adopt or remove from your daily rhythm? Start with mindset.

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com

My Clients Are Brilliant

THE CLIENT WISDOM BLOG PUBLISHED BY MBT MORE BUSINESS TODAY LLC

Over the last several weeks, many of my clients made significant progress toward a goal. As a coach, I watch for signs of improvement. I help the client take notice of positive changes. My clients exhibited so much impressive change lately, I needed a new word to use in addition to kudos, congratulations, awesome, and fabulous.

The word is brilliant. My friend in Manchester, who is also a brilliant coach, uses this word frequently. I love the word every time she uses it. And now, it best describes my clients and their progress. They are brilliant!

After finding the correct word, and feeling quite brilliant for doing so, I reflected on how this great success happens. How do individuals and teams move themselves forward until they realize significant change?

There are themes that travel across all of my coaching engagements. Individuals or groups seek to improve in an area or areas. We set goals to create a path for moving forward. Then, we embark on a journey of action / reflection; action / reflection. It all looks a bit humdrum on paper. Why am I so excited?

While goals and actions may be similar from one client to the next, the difference – and the brilliance – shines through in the reflection. Clients reveal to me infinite ways to look at, digest, interpret, and define the information that comes to them and through them. My clients are brilliant! And that is the magic of coaching.

As a coach, I ask the questions that resonate with clients so that they recover their own wisdom. Some questions are the same from coaching session to coaching session. Some manifest through the individual circumstance. I use a number of clichés from person to person as we look for a way to frame things that speaks to the individual.

Coaching is a quest and a journey. It takes hard work, resilience, focus, and motivation to realize results.

In the meantime, here are a few of the clichés you will hear when working with a coach that are absolutely true:

  • Baby steps.
  • Eat the elephant one bite at a time.
  • Eat the frog first thing every morning.
  • You hold all of the answers in your own mind (just like Dorothy and the ruby, red slippers).
  • If you focus on a particular outcome, you will start seeing ways to obtain the goal.
  • Persistence is key.

My brilliant clients benefitted from all of the clichés above and a number of other analogies. Which ones work for you? How have you made improvements that helped you achieve your goals?

For more information contact Mary Balistreri, The Mindful Business Coach at mary@mbtmorebusinesstodayllc.com