What’s So Scary, and Great, About Role Playing?

From the MBT Blog – published by MBT More Business Today LLC

When I use the words “role play” with clients, a wince or eyeroll is often the response. I could try saying “act out” or “playact” but I think those phrases are more off putting than role play. Is it not better to practice what you might say in an important conversation than to watch yourself spew something that sounded great in your head but is completely off target in the moment? You can almost see the words of the verbal oops! rushing out of your mouth. So, why not practice in advance?

Why is it scary? Clients tell me it is awkward to practice. They feel uncomfortable. They seldom listen to their own voices. And, they do not like being told to adjust what they are saying. Some find it easier to say what they are going to say and run. That way there is no feedback to hear. It will also impede your growth.

The more feedback you can incorporate, the better your skill becomes. It is the same as practicing anything: golf, singing, playing an instrument, learning a new language. You look to others to show you how to be better.

Some of the best uses for role playing in business, or practicing what you might say in advance, are the following:

• Your elevator speech,
• Stories about your accomplishments you might tell at a networking event or business meeting,
• A pitch meeting,
• A difficult conversation with an employee.

Clients generally thank me when we finish role-playing a conversation. The reactions go something like:

• “Wow! I can’t believe I was going to lead with that statement!”
• “I sounded so stupid!”
• “Trying out the actual words I planned to say helped me think things through. I am so much more prepared now!”

Some people fear they will sound robotic if they rehearse a conversation. I understand the anxiety. But, practicing creates a safe space to try out your phrasing, keep the words that work best, and throw out the ones that are off point.

Here are a few tips for rehearsing while maintaining your authenticity:

• Write down the top three points you want to make. Ask yourself, “What would I like the person on the other side of the conversation to remember?”
• Read it out loud. You can read it to a colleague or friend or just to yourself. It makes a big difference to listen to your own voice speaking the words your wrote down.
• Now, practice in front of a mirror. How do you look while you are talking? How do you feel about how you look? What do you notice? Are you looking down at the paper? Do you stumble on your words? In both cases, it could be that the words are not natural for you. Play with them until you feel more comfortable.
• Finally, role play the conversation with another person (preferably a coach). They will give you feedback on how a conversation might proceed based on your approach.

Role playing is an important tool in self-awareness. Avoid the verbal oops! and try it out!